Don't Leave Yourself Behind By: Marsha Maung Be...

Don't Leave Yourself Behind

By: Marsha Maung

Being a parent is an absolutely encompassing and overwhelming feeling. The moment you become a parent, your whole world changes. The way you look at life, too, will change. The things that you do will also change. Your emotions, feelings and sometimes personality too will change. Being absolutely in love with our kids is an innate response to such an intensely satisfying job is natural…BUT…don’t leave yourself behind.

What I mean to say when I say ‘Don’t Leave Yourself Behind’ is that you needn’t choose between yourself and your kids all the time. Yes, there are instances whereby you would have to sacrifice something for your kids – this is all part of parenting. Like you have to forego the pair of beaded sandals to pay for your kids tuition. You might have to forego going out for coffee with your friends to take your kids out. You might have to sacrifice personal time to be with your kids. All this is part of life. But there is a very distinct line to be drawn. Where you draw that line is entirely up to you but there has to be a line drawn between you and your kids.

When a mother or parent sacrifices everything (and I mean EVERYTHING!) for her children, when they grow up, the parent might feel empty when all the birds have left the nest. This is the time when he/she will feel that he/she has neglected him/herself. What is he/she left with when the kids have grown? Emptiness? Feeling of depression? Consider also that a parent might even start blaming the kids for having taken everything there is to take from the parent and are ungrateful.

No, no, no…this is not what we want.

The moment you draw the line between yourself and your kids, you’re not distancing yourself from them. You are focusing on yourself so that you will be in a better position to enjoy them later on. The more satisfied and happier you feel, the better you will be with your kids.
Frustrated parents will lack the judgment faculty. They will be short fused and easily-angered. This cannot be good for boisterous children demanding your attention.

So, starting from now, find out what your hobbies are, what you LIKE and DISLIKE to do. Find out more about yourself as a person and as a parent. Find times that you can actually fit YOURSELF into your busy day. It could be just 10 minutes of yoga if that’s what you like. Or you could find some time to read or go for a swim (without the kids). This is your way of reminding yourself that even though you’re a parent now, you’re still a person deserving of your own attention.

Marsha Maung is a freelance graphic designer and copy writer who works from her home in Selangor, Malaysia. She loves nothing more than blowing bubbles in the park with her 2 kids, Joshua and Jared. She designs apparel and premium items at http://www.allmomstuff.com and is the author of "Raising little magicians", and the popular "The Lance in freelancing". More information can be found at http://www.marshamaung.com.

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