The WRONG Way To Impress A Woman

Hello. My name is jlaix, and I wanna lick it.

So, I was thinking. I know, I know, this is really out of character for me, since I typically espouse a "screw thinking" philosophy, but nonetheless, I do indulge in the occasional thought from time to time.

The thing that got me to thinking this time around was a car. A friend of mine recently got a new car. Well, he leased it, but you know what I mean. It's a brand new BMW Z4, a little convertible roadster in charcoal grey.

So he gets this car, and the first thing he says to me is, "Yeah dog, I'm gonna get the girls now!" Or something to that effect. He's all talking about how the heated bucket seats are gonna get the chicks all hot and so forth.

Now, this guy is a dear friend of mine, but he's simply not very well-versed in the game. In fact, he's kind of a chump. Don't get me wrong, he gets hot girls, but it's usually because they've thrown themselves at him in such an obvious way that it would be impossible for him to screw it up.

Then he gets into long term relationships with these chicks.

Naturally, he thinks he's a total player. So if I try to talk to him about game, he dismisses whatever I say. He doesn't need my advice!

So I don't give it to him anymore.

So what am I getting at here? Long story short, the guy's had the car for several months now, and it has had no discernible impact on his game whatsoever.

He just can't understand it! Why doesn't this car get him laid?! I mean, here he thought he could just mention to the girls what he's driving, and it would be GAME ON! What's up?

Here's the deal: cars, money, power, all these types of things, while they may be good for your own personal enjoyment of life, they are not necessarily good for building attraction.

Simply put, all of these things are based in LOGIC, and not EMOTION... which is what attraction is all about.

Furthermore, flaunting these things tends to subcommunicate neediness, which is probably the quickest way to KILL attraction.

See, people are HARDWIRED for attraction, guys and girls. It's preprogrammed into our circuitry. Attraction can be triggered by flipping a series of switches, which have little or nothing to do with these conceptions.

And so we arrive at the topic for today's newsletter: BRAGGING and QUALIFYING.

When you brag to someone, what you're really doing is attempting to qualify yourself to them, to say, "I'm worthy of your admiration." However, by doing this you also communicate your DESIRE to be admired by them. In other words, you project NEEDINESS and by extension LOWER VALUE.

So I think it goes without saying that we should make an effort to avoid qualifying ourselves to others at all costs if we want to be successful in our efforts to build attraction.

With this in mind, I'm going to go ahead and give you several examples of ways that people commonly qualify themselves.

One way is by ENTERTAINING. If you're in the field, you've probably seen this guy. Hey, you might even BE this guy, who knows.

The entertainer is the guy who approaches the girls and proceeds to bust out all these gimmicks. He starts doing magic for them. Maybe he's trying really hard to impress them by telling jokes and being funny. Zing! He's got all kinds of little games and tricks to show them.

The problem is, he's telegraphing his desperate NEED to be accepted by the people he's performing for. And make no mistake, he is PERFORMING, like a cute little dancing monkey.

And what happens at the end of the night? The girls thank him for providing the evening's entertainment, and go home with the guy they're actually attracted to.

I'm not saying you can't use these games and tricks, not by any means. What I'm saying is that you should save these things for later in the interaction. Don't be the dancing monkey.

Another common way guys qualify themselves is by trying to get rapport with someone who hasn't earned it yet. These are the dudes who roll up and start going for rapport right off the opener, delivering compliments and all this nonsense. "Nice necklace, where did you get it?"

You don't think the chick can see what's going on from a mile away? Do you think she thinks you really care about her stupid necklace? Why do you care about this stuff from a RANDOM PERSON? It's transparent as an empty 40 bottle of Old E.

Zip up, bro, you're qualifying yourself, and it's DORK SUPER LAME.

Then we have yet another way to qualify yourself: talking without feedback. When you're continually talking to someone and they are not responding, or disacknowledging you, you are beating yourself to them. You're getting tooled.

Every moment you sit there and continue to talk with someone without feedback, your value is dropping.

What's it all about? It's all about value. You figure it out.

Sometimes, people will flagrantly qualify themselves by overcompensating for their insecurities. Like, say you're a janitor. And somebody asks you what you do.

You reply, "I'm a janitor. Man, I don't believe in the rat race, and money and all that. I think it's retarded, capitalism is ridiculous. I just want to make my way and be happy."

Ok, well, you might be happy, but you just totally qualified yourself. If you just said, "I'm a janitor," and left it at that,nobody would have thought twice.

But by making a big deal out of how you don't care about money, you just drew attention to the fact that you don't make that much, and you probably DO care about it. See? It does absolutely no good to qualify yourself in this manner.

Along similar lines is when guys overcompensate for shortcomings. For example, say I go out on a program, and I say to the students, "Hey, guys, I'm really tired tonight, that's why I'm not up to par."

Do you think that's going to help me in any way at all? Do you think the students care? No. It's going to make a bad situation worse, because it looks like I'm making excuses.

Another example of this would be saying to a girl, "These clothes aren't my coolest, I have these awesome clothes at home." Do you think the chick is seriously going to say to herself, "Damn, if this guy had on those cool clothes he's talking about, he'd be THE BOMB!"

No. She couldn't care less, and it makes you look like you're seeking validation. Big mistake.

Okay, there are literally hundreds of these, I want to give you a broad range of examples here. Another way people qualify themselves is by laughing at their own jokes.

When you do this, it signals that you aren't confident enough in the joke's own merit, and you're pre-empting a good response by the other person. Again, this conveys neediness, which is a disgusting quality by all accounts.

All of this relates to the difference between an internally centered person and an externally centered person. Being internally centered means you're stuck in your own head, and constantly trying to micro-manage how others perceive you.

On the other hand, an externally centered person is not concerned with such things, and is free to express himself however he desires, without fear that it will be poorly received.

Thus, the externally centered person will have less of a tendency to qualify himself.

When trying to improve your level of social intelligence, it's much better to be externally centered for this reason. Being externally centered will result in change much more quickly.

What sorts of things do we notice about ourselves and how people treat us when we qualify ourselves to them?

They will tend to view you as a person of lesser value. The sad fact of this game is that value is of paramount importance. If you qualify yourself to others, they will blow you off... you have nothing to offer, and are therefore not attractive.

This is the bitter irony: If we actually have the desire to qualify ourselves as people of higher value, we end up projecting the opposite - particularly when we're the ones approaching.

So, let's get back to my friend, the guy who brags about his beamer. What would be a better way for him to approach this?

Look. There are ways to tell others good things about yourself without bragging and qualifying yourself. I'll give you one.

If you can tell a STORY that contains the elements you would be tempted to brag about, you can get away with it. The thing is, the story has to be so cool that it stands alone on its own merits. You would have told it anyway, but it just happens to contain details that paint you in a flattering light.

Get it?

Again, there are literally hundreds of ways you can inadvertently qualify yourself, and an equal number of ways to do things differently so you don't. I've only just scratched the surface in this email. If you really want to get down and dirty, we break this down FOR REAL in our live, in-field programs.

If you want a one-on-one learning experience that will surpass your every expectation and then some, consider taking one of our Individualized Bootcamps.

During the course, we'll reveal how the best pick up artists in the WORLD use this stuff to score with the top-calibre girls.

You'll hear about it, then witness it LIVE, in-field as the Executive Coaches bust out the tricks used by the PROS. You'll see it all first hand, then apply it yourself to get results you never thought possible.

What makes these techniques so powerful? We've been researching, polishing and perfecting them for the last several years, for REAL and IN THE FIELD.

This stuff isn't armchair rhetoric. These techniques are the end product of our blood, sweat and tears from countless interactions in an unimaginably wide range of scenarios.

Without this information, you'll wind up a typical frustrated guy banging his head against the wall, bouncing off set after set.

Not only is this annoying, it can have a dramatic NEGATIVE impact on your game!

That's because you'll waste precious time dealing with the internal issues that inevitably arise from getting blown out repeatedly, when you could've been pulling hotties back to your pad and building on that success in a self-perpetuating CONFIDENCE loop!

Again, what you see above is just a fraction of what you'll get in our live programs, and just a small sample of the MOUNTAINS of killer information we'll give you to TAKE CONTROL of your love life. To learn more, check out our site:

http://www.realsocialdynamics.com/n/bootcamps.asp

"My skill is very much improved from taking the course, and I have a direction and understanding that I didn't have before. It was well structured, and everyone got direct attention and feedback in their interactions.

I finally got to see the types of skilled pickups that I'd read about. It was nothing like I've ever see from my natural friends, who are also very good in their own right and I've learned a lot from them too. The RSD guys are in a league of their own though.

The instructors would tell me exactly how to approach, whisper into my ear what to say, and fix my body language, right in set IN FRONT OF THE GIRLS! The girls never noticed, and as soon as the corrections were made they would really open up.

The whole group was great, too. I heard two students give reports that they got laid at the end of the night, and one of them was very shy. Many students with no skill got tonguedowns and phone numbers, and all of them seemed a lot more confident. I can't imagine that anyone wouldn't take a lot from the program."

- Slo, Montreal, Canada

Also, check out the latest hardcore technology in the ever-evolving world of THE GAME.

Transformations is packed "beyond full" with instantly applicable information that will take your game and your understanding of the social matrix to the next level. Like the Bootcamp, this is really an incredible value for the money.

I know you're curious. Act on that feeling and find out what the Transformations DVD Set is all about by visiting:

http://www.becometransformed.com

You won't be sorry.

I'm starting to worry here, though. This is getting to the point where I'm doing a little TOO much thinking for one day. So, in the interest of adhering to my policy of "nonsense and utter stupidity", I'm going to call it a day here and get out to the park.

I brought this boomerang when we were in Australia doing a bootcamp, and I haven't had the opportunity to throw it around.

I really don't have any idea how to throw it, so hopefully I won't kill anyone's dog or kid out there. If you don't get the next newsletter, you'll know what happened. Send bail money.

Peace out.

Sincerely,

Jeffy, Executive Coach
REAL SOCIAL DYNAMICS

************************************************** *************************

Imagine amazing yourself, as well as your friends, as you suddenly become the coolest, most suave and desired “Babe-Magnet” in town!

Fat, Bald, Old, Broke or Ugly? None of that matters anymore!

You’ve seen 'em all your life! Those guys that p**s you off to no end. Balding, overweight, short, and ugly, older guys, walking around with a gorgeous babe on each arm. You first thought it must be “Money,” but then you’d check out their clothes, their shoes and when you followed them out to the parking lot to scope out their ride, you quickly found out that MONEY obviously wasn’t the secret. So what was it???

How do these guys do it? What’s their “Special Seduction Secret?”

Click here to find out....